I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
