I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
