She's JV to your varsity
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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