I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
