is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
