What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Randomize
