i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
