i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Success! We fucked roommates!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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