He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
