New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
