We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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