you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
