never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
