Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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