O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
