whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I cut my penus on the lid.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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