You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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