Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
