shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
