Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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