Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i need some magic done to my vagina
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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