id be glad to
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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