at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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