If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
