Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If that was your dad, he is hot
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
