well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
