Do vagina's smell?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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