i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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