She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
