I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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