I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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