For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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