i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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