It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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