I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
