Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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