Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
