do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
