the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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