Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
