Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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