In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
