Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
