I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
