Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
