Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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