Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
