i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
