He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
