Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
